PARENTING BASICS

Overview

Easychild is a structured family behavior system with visible expectations and earned privileges. There are two important core elements of the system: The 'Point Sheet' and the 'Level Chart'. The 'Point Sheet' is used to setup and track behaviors. Each tracked behavior carries a point value, which is either positive or negative. The parent sets the point value for each behavior to reflect how important it is relative to other behaviors. A blank Point Sheet is printed out once a week and kept in a convenient area for everyone to view, like the kitchen or on the family bulletin board. It is checked off daily as behaviors occur or later when you have a free minute. The 'Level Chart' is used to setup what privileges a child earns for increasing levels of good behavior. The system is designed to operate in weekly tracking cycles beginning each week on Saturday, using the following formula.

This week's behavior points = next week's privileges

The beginning of the week is Saturday. On Saturday, checked boxes on the Point Sheet are quickly entered into the computer for the last week. EasyChild will then calculate the achieved Level for the current week. If you choose to use the allowance feature, each point is equal to the set amount, and the program will compute the child's allowance automatically. This works out so a child will get their allowance and start receiving their earned privileges on Saturday. You can print out the Summary and add it to the ‘family area’ to remind everyone what Level and privileges are in effect for this week. After the Point Sheet is entered for the last week, a new blank Point Sheet is printed out for the current week. The whole process of using EasyChild should take less then 15 minutes per week. You can spend time with your children to evaluate their progress once a week and make it one of the Expected Behaviors.

Parenting Tip: If it is consistent with your family values, using the allowance feature is recommended. Children embrace the system faster when they earn money for positive behaviors and loose money for negative behaviors. When introducing the system, you can show your children how they can earn more by doing more. This is helpful in getting children motivated to use the system in your home, and they can also enjoy it.

The Point Sheet

When setting up the 'Point Sheet', parents clearly define each of the child's 'Expected Behaviors' and when they are expected. Parents also setup 'Extra Behaviors', behaviors that would be nice to see the child do and 'Other Behaviors', which are undesirable and have a negative point value. A child has three ways to affect their point total for the week; they can earn points for doing what is expected, they can lose points for negative behaviors, or they can gain bonus points by doing extra behaviors that are helpful.

Total Points = Expected Behaviors - Other Behaviors + Extra Behaviors

Parenting Tip: Expected Behaviors should include things the child is already doing so they know they are going to get some points easily. Expected Behaviors should always be positive so that we are expecting good things from our children. Negative behaviors like “no arguing" should be placed under 'Other Behaviors' with a description like "Arguing with Parent". With a negative point value, a child, who continues to argue, will lose more and more points each time. Expectations are clear; 'Other Behaviors' are unacceptable.

The Level Chart

The 'Level Chart' is setup in levels of increasing privileges. The higher the Level, the more things a child gets to do. By accumulating points this week, a child will achieve a certain Level for the next week. Each Level is setup as a percentage of the total points expected for the week. When a child is on a Level, they get all of the privileges of that level plus those below it. The highest level is called 'Super Level', followed by 'Level A', 'Level B', 'Level C', etc. You may rename the levels and customize the percentages as you desire.

Current Level = privileges enjoyed for the week

Parenting Tip: Before using the system, most children have been getting things without earning them (entitlements). A child will not get self-esteem by being given things without earning them. It is up to the parent what will remain entitlements and what must be earned. However, the more a child earns the better they will feel about themselves. Children’s basic needs are love, food, and shelter. Every day things, like watching television, having friends over, and video games should be earned at progressive levels of good behaviors.

In general, children should be on ‘Level A’. But by having a special level, ’Super Level’, that is even higher than 'Level A', a child can become motivated to set and work for higher goals. Even when a child does something wrong, they have the chance to make it up by the end of the week by doing 'Extra Behaviors' and still achieve the 'Level' of their desired privileges.

Applying the EasyChild program to your family

Parenting Values

What is parenting? Parenting is the practice of teaching children your values and how to interact with the world. Your values may come from religion or how you were raised. Some values are common among families and EasyChild has age appropriate defaults for suggested behaviors and privileges that allow you to get started quickly. In the end, the power of the system is in the hands of the family and their values. EasyChild is just a tool for teaching your family values. While using the program, you can customize it as children grow and change.

Involving your child in the system

Children's Involvement = Fairness and Empowerment

Most children don't respond well to being told what to do without having a say. A family operating smoothly is based on two-way positive communications between a parent and their child. Children will enjoy being on the system, if they can become empowered to be part of it. After the adults agree on how the system should be setup, it is time to let the children have an input. They will want to let you know what is not fair, and what they think they deserve. Listen to them, maybe adjust some point values, maybe move some privileges down a level, change the cents per point. Get consensus. When everyone can agree, you will see much better success faster. And at the same time, you are setting up a good two-way communication channel by talking about behavior problems as they arise.

Realizing the benefits

The most important thing to remember when you first start using EasyChild is not to expect your children to change overnight. Patience is one of the keys to good parenting.

Depending on your previous parenting style, children will be going through a strategy change. It usually takes about three weeks before you will see a big change in attitude. By following the EasyChild system and being consistent, your family life will be better and your children will be more successful.

3 Weeks = Results

The old way of doing things has to change. How would you like to play a game where the rules were always changing? How about if you could get something you really wanted by arguing? Let’s pretend you are playing the roulette and had nothing to lose. Even though you knew your odds are one in 36, you would continue to play forever for the chance to win thinking you’ll the next round. Arguing to get things is a strategy that children use when parenting is informal and there is no cost to them. They have unfortunately learned over time and will continue to use arguing as a strategy because it has worked in the past. Parents must be consistent and learn to rely on the system. Engaging a child in an argument is never good strategy for parenting.

Consistency = Strategy Change

It’s always nice to see a child who would argue over simple requests, like making their bed, completely change and start coming to his/her parent asking for extra things they can do to help around the house. Children will begin to value things and want to please their parents at the same time.

Parenting Tips: If you forget to check up to see whether or not a behavior was done, like ‘Making Bed’, then the child gets the credit. This also applies if you were on vacation. One interesting thing is when a child catches you doing something they are given consequences for, like ‘Leaving on lights’, you will need to give your child the points they would have lost. If you think about it, you have just turned your child into an electric policeman from an electric waster.

A real family example 'The Evians'